Guilty
by MelissaLianne
Summary: Bellatrix/Rodolphus/Voldemort triangle. Thoughts are shared during Deathly Hallows. Disclaimer; I own nothing, unfortunatley...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** A Rodolphus/Bellatrix/Voldemort triangle. Will be starting the sequel to the humour Bella/Voldy story soon. Promiseeee.

_**CHAPTER ONE - BELLATRIX**_

_"__Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept,  
but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet."_

I know that he knows.

It's the way he looks at me, as if he does not trust me. I pretend I love him but I am growing weary of the neverending facade. He is too, I can tell. He does not eat with me in the dining room anymore, infact, I am not sure whether he eats at all. He is growing thinner and he has acquired tired looking eyes. I eat alone, watching the candle flicker until, finally, there is nothing but darkness. I am not sure, in all honesty, if I ever did love him. I cherished him as if he was a brother, or perhaps, a close friend, but never as a lover. Whenever he kissed me I would respond enthusastically, so as not to lower his opinion on me. But now, everything has changed. Dumbledore has fallen - the senile fool, gone for good, at the hand of Severus Snape. If only the Dark Lord had let me finish off the old man, then perhaps ...

No. I know he does not love; he has explained that to me countlessly. Alone, in company of others, via comminucation. Whenever I invite him round for dinner, he declines, assuring me he would rather eat alone. I gave up on asking him, as I decided it may be annoying him. But ... tonight, he arrived, when I was not at my best. I was not wearing any magi-witch make-up products, and my hair was a complete mess. I had not taken pride in my appearance that night, but when he apparated into my lounge, as I carelessly sipped Wine, he did not seem to mind my appereance.

We talked, and he even stroked my hair. I tearfully told him of what Rodolphus was doing, and he listened to my complains with a fatherly atmosphere, but his expression was unreadable. When I had finished, sipping more wine for self reassurement, he spoke to me. "Come here, Bella," he said softly, putting an arm around my shoulders and positioning me so I was leaning comfortably on him. I sighed and buried my face into his chest, and he smelt irresistable. "I cannot help you with Rodolphus," he told me, stroking my hair absent mindedly, the way he would sometimes stroke Nagini, "But I do ask of you one thing. And Lord Voldemort only asks when it is important."  
"Anything - anything for my lord!" I choked, my eyes filling with tears.  
"Do not mess up, Bella," he purred, placing his lips near my forehead, but not actually touching. Perhaps he had changed his mind split second. "This ... task, is important. Very important. I cannot afford to have mistakes. Bella..."

I stared at him, my eyes watery, my lips slightly pouted. "I would not mess up, my lord, not even if death stood in the way!"  
He chuckled lightly. "I am glad to hear it," he confessed, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger, "Because, I am sure you know, that I do not like to punish you."  
"I ..." I turned to look at him, but he had vanished. At that moment, Rodolphus entered the room, and stared at me with a bored expression.  
"What?" I snapped, my usual manner returning.  
He glared back in response, before turning away and slamming the door in my face.

I don't understand men.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thanks for the review, Steph, and thanks for subscribing, Beatriu, I appriceate it! xD

_**CHAPTER TWO - RODOLPHUS.**_

_"On a mountain he sits, not of gold, but of sin,_

_Through the blood, he can learn, see the lifes that it turn,_

_From council of one he'll decide when he's done,_

_With the innocent on his face is a map of the world,_

_A map of the world, on his face is a map of the world,_

_A map of the world. . ."_

Some people have often quoted to me that the first day of love will never return. At the time, I didn't believe them, because in all honesty, I was a happy man. I had money, I had a beautiful wife, and best of all, I was feared throughout the society of message, for I was a Death Eater, and proud of it! I had always given Voldemort my respect, even when Bellatrix would hang on his every word. I would reprimand her about it - privately, obviously - but she would ignore me, shake her beautiful head, and roll her eyes in a dramatic way.

Time has passed and with it, so have my feelings for her. I care about her, obviously, but I always knew he was the one she adored. And yeah - it did make me angry. I won't deny it; I would be considered a fool if I did. I tried to let go of the truth, and look were it has gotten me? She can barely look at me anymore. She was truely a beautiful lie to believe in; around her, back in the day, I felt like ... we were not just two people, but brought together as a whole.

I, perhaps pityingly, confided in Narcissa, and she advised me to let go of the past. This would of taken more effect, had she not been whining about how unfair it was that Draco had been roped into being the one to finish off Dumbledore. Lucius had then entered the domain and I left; I knew only too well should he discover any information it would be straight to the Dark Lord; considering the Malfoy family are skating on thin ice with him at present.

That night, I returned home, from a long walk in the moonlight, past the beach were I had contemplated possiblity on how to end things, when I finally decided it was time to return home. I apparated directly outside our house, before murmuring the password (something other than pure-blood) and entering. I approached the lounge, where I knew she would be, when I heard muffled voices. A conversation. It was him.

My hand gripped on the door handle, and for a moment, I considered not entering. But why should I not? It was my home. I had nothing to hide. And with that decided, I opened the door. Bellatrix was sitting, quite alone, and I wondered if I had jumped to conclusions. No, I had not. She was sitting as if she had just been leaning on somebody, and she fell backwards slightly, now the force that had been holding her had gone, and some of her wine slipped out of the glass. I fixed a bored, wary expression upon her.

"What?" she snapped, regaining some of her usual attitude. I glared at her and turned away, slamming the door in her face. But then I heard a sob mingled with a sort of gasp, and so I opened the door once more. She was sitting there, with tears threatening to fall down her face. I wanted to comfort her, but it did not deem appropiate. I approached her, hesitantly, and drew up an armchair opposite her. I sat in it absent mindedly, my expression not leaving hers.

"Oh Rod," she said, dropping the wine glass and launching herself at me. The glass shattered, but a house-elf shortly appeared to retrieve it, before disappearing with a soft pop. She flung her arms around my neck, and it was all I could do to support her, as I gently ran a hand over her tear stained cheek. We did not speak; but she looked at me with a blazing expression, and I knew that she knew what I was thinking, and vice versa. "I'm so sorry Rod," she said, taking a deep breath, "I just..."  
"I know," I told her, careful to control any anger and emotion.  
She smiled bitterly. "You're angry, aren't you?"  
I did not answer.  
"I am to blame . . ." she said, more to herself than me, "And I'm sorry for everything."  
I nodded briefly at her words, and for a moment, I wanted to kiss her. But it subsided, and so I held her close and said quietly: "So am I."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! And without further ado, I have completed this threeshot. Next - sequel to 'A faithful assistant!'

_**CHAPTER 3 - VOLDEMORT**_

_"Shadows all around you, as you surface from the dark,  
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms,  
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?  
The subtle grace of gravity; the heavy weight of stone."_

She comes to me frequently, with her invitations, grace and stupidity combined. I don't love her. I do not even like her. I tolerate her. Yes, that is the right word. I tolerate her more than the other Death Eaters. But, like most women, she is desperate for one thing, and that is to be loved. I have told her endlessly I cannot provide this; yet she does not seem to care. She has stopped harassing me, but in replace, she has began to bring all her problems down onto me. They do not affect me emotionally; why would they? I am only concerned that I succeed, but in doing so, I need each task to be performed with the fullest attention. There is no space for sloppy work, in my professional opinion. So, I comfort her. I tell her I need her to stay occupied on the future task, and suprisingly, she takes this well. I leave her, lingering for more 'understanding words' as her husband returns and I dissapear into the darkness.

The darkness evaporates, and I find myself in Lucius's manor. It is comfortable, I will admit, but so it should be; the man's wealth has been grandly contributed to, thanks to me. Even if I am not a person who finds desire in expensive furniture and appliances, it is appriceated more than cold, dirty things. But now, I am used to both. Dirty furniture from my childhood, royalty in the present. I find myself sitting on my bed, and thinking of my past. They are not memories I enjoy thinking about, but they do preoccupy my bordeom, and perhaps, help me alter my plans slightly. As a child I was never loved, but once I entered the world of magic, I was skilled and sucessful. Oh yes. Everybody wanted to know or befriend me then. I was often cast admiring looks in the hallways, but it would never be enough.

No, I would aim for something higher, and I achieved it. I made the Horcruxes. I made my point clear. I gained a group of followers. And with them came Bellatrix and Rodolphus. She had caught my attention the moment she came to prove herself worthy of joining my legion; not by her charisma, but her looks. She was - and still is - a stunning lady. But I do not want her. Rodolphus even made this clear when signing up with her; he had his arm around her waist or was kissing her in someway. That exasperated me. Rodolphus Lestrange would get his come uppance -- I would make sure of it.

And after tonight?

After Rodolphus Lestrange left Bellatrix for his second walk of the evening?

Let me just say that I dealt with him accordingly.


End file.
